Often in coaching sessions, a client will bring to the session a problem or obstacle in their path forward. In life, challenging situations can make us feel stuck and unable to move. We find ourselves staying in relationships or jobs or patterns that no longer fulfill us.
Years ago, I came upon a powerful mantra, “change, accept or leave.” This wisdom shifted my focus from my problems to the possible solutions to my problems. Often when faced with a difficulty, we forget that we actually have some choices.
We can decide to attempt to change the situation. It might mean we have to change OUR behavior or perspective. It could involve having that scary conversation with a boss or partner asking THEM to make changes. Going this route requires that we be willing to make a request (possibly new territory for us) and be ready for the aftermath…Things may fall apart or we might just get what we want.
Sometimes after taking some time to ponder our conundrum, we do not think we can change or we realize the situation or other person will never change (regardless of what they might say). We are now left with two other options. These are to accept or leave.
We can make the decision to accept our circumstances. Acceptance requires surrendering to “it is what it is.” Staying in this space might require adding stress reduction exercises to our day. It may mean keeping an unfulfilling day job while working on our true passion on the weekends while we save money or figure out a plan. It could mean seeking therapy to learn how to cope with someone who will remain a part of our life. It could mean partnering with a coach to expand our view of ourselves and what we want to create in our life.
Lastly, we can leave. We can lay down a boundary or block a number. We can quit a job or move out of state. We can end a relationship.
By no means are any of these three choices easy. They will cost something. We must ask ourselves, what price are we willing to pay? Each choice also opens up possibility and potential; are we open to that?
Take care and be well,
Deepti Gandhi, MD